I’ve never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day. I mean, I get the whole “used to be a pagan holiday” thing. Basically it was a tribute to one of their Pagan gods. The names of women would be put into a basket and they would be drawn by a teenage boy. It was sort of a dating/hook up lottery. Well obviously this did not go over well in the Christian church.
The church’s attempt to do away with it became a day associated with St. Valentine. He was beheaded by the Roman Emperor Claudius II , for performing marriages (Claudius had sort of banned them). Somehow the tradition of sending notes or offering notes to women men wanted to court in St Valentine’s name became the new tradition. I can get behind that. But I can’t get behind is what is has become.
I never really realized how anti-Valentines day I was until about a week ago. I had always chalked it up to being the clichéd bitter single girl every single year. I have never had a person to spend it with or to get me stuff. I figured I was just being difficult. Now I see it is more. At work we do these holiday gift exchanges to raise morale. For Valentine’s Day, we are doing Clever Cupids.
I participate because well I do want people at work to think I am somewhat normal, and it can be fun. I’m filling out the form, and I can come up with tons of things I don’t want from my Clever Cupid, but I’m having some issues coming up with what I do want. Yeah, I am not so much a fan of pink. I’m don’t really like hearts, or much of anything super girly. Really most Valentine Themed things make my stomach turn. I was trying to think of anything I could put down for items I wanted, and that is when I realized I cared more about Chinese New Year than Valentine’s Day. I just do not get the commercialized behemoth it has become.
The idea of offering notes to the one they love or to the ones they want to court is cute. Even the way little kids celebrate it at school is cute. However, it is when we become grown ups that it just all falls to pieces. I went into Target shortly before Christmas and I already saw the pink stuff flying. Before the after Christmas sales were wrapped up, Valentine’s Day items were on the shelves. Women expect nice dinners, candy and even jewelry. It is enough to make your head spin. With birthdays, anniversaries and other assorted holidays depending on your faith and commercial leanings, this just seems like insult to injury.
Of course, the media perpetuates this common belief in American society. That means that the pressure is piled on by commercials, magazines, billboards and any other medium that will play along. I can see how women expect it and men have to live up to it. I just don’t necessarily agree with it.
What is with all this pink and red crap. Seriously, I would actually feel sorry for any guy who had to try and buy me something for this “Hallmark Holiday.” Unless he can find me black roses (not dead ones) and something not pink and girly without spending a fortune…he’d just be out of luck. I guess it is a good thing I’m single. Even girls who are not into all the pink and heart stuff suddenly become advocates for that twenty-four hours. I just can’t buy into it. No matter how many times I’m told it just the accepted thing to do, it just isn’t me.
Why does the guy have to go all out one day a year? I just don’t get this. I’d rather have him do little things and consistently be there through out the year. In the end, it is really only the little things that matter any way. If the relationship is neglected and already in trouble, a big show is not going to save it from crumbling. If the relationship is has been well maintained by both parties, and they must celebrate, a small little “thank you” of some sorts should be sufficient. All of the responsibility should not fall on one party, and it doesn’t have to be extravagant and over the top.
I’m not even going to jump on the how it makes it seem like if you aren’t in a relationship you are worth less camp. That is another rant for another day. All I am going to say is this: If you are single and you want to participate, show you love for you friends. Let them know you appreciate them. Love comes in all types. So what if you don’t have romantic love, hopefully you have love for your friends and family. Keep the original concept of the holiday and take the time to show some love to the people in your life.
Maybe I’m the exception to the rule, but I just do not see why we buy into all of this. I think that at its inception, the holiday was a great idea. However, commercial greed took over and now it is this pink and red monster assailing pocketbooks, checking accounts and unwitting consumers each day. February 14 will just be another Saturday to me. I will go to work. I will spend time with my friends. That alone will make me happy.Similar Posts:
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© 2009, Jenni Hammitt. All rights reserved.
